Some Things You Never Forget
Some things you never forget. Like the comfort of your father’s hand in yours when you’re small and afraid, or the final ember of light in the eyes of your dying child.
Other threads are inextricably woven into the softer fabric of soul. The sensuous, cold satin of summer’s first ice cream on your five year old tongue… the careless rapture of life before cognizance of consequences tempers immortality. The first triumph that defines your path. The first loss that staggers you into the inexorable realization of death.
Life’s highways are the ones we never put on our itinerary… like the one where I’d marry a man who didn’t love me or bury two daughters. And, as I was raised to be a saint, as were all female children of the 40’s and 50’s, I was singularly unprepared for the preponderance of happy sinners I’d meet on the road of life. Equally so, for my own foolish frailties and lapses from grace, or for the fact that life requires drawing without an eraser.
We don’t live life in a straight line, no matter what the chronology suggests, we live it in anecdotes, one startling moment at a time. Things stand out randomly according to their weightiness, the unimportant falling into the crevices of the bas relief of time, while the pivotal moments stand out like tiny mountain ranges. Each little mountain holds some important learning at its summit… we struggle to climb, find the message, look out with wiser, warier eyes. If we’re lucky, we learn something useful for the next climb and don’t die of exhaustion before we can make use of the intel.
Inasmuch as the sages and the quantum physicists now tell us time is not linear, there seems no reason to speak of my mountains in any particular order. I hope you’ll climb with me a while. We may be able to offer each other a hand on the road to the final summit.
© Cathy Cash Spellman/The Wild Harp & Co. Inc 2010
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From one happy sinner to another…once we figure out that we can’t erase, we do tend to tread more carefully on our next climb up the mountain. So many of your beautiful words have helped me climb to a summit or two. Thanks Cathy.
Thanks for the lovely acknowledgement, Gerry. The mountain really is a doozy, isn’t it? So much higher and more challenging than we thought. What makes the journey better is having friends to climb with. XX,Cathy
Cathy, I worked with you at Spellman & Co. about 151 years ago. I was so sorry to hear about Bronwyn and CeeCee . Please accept my heartfelt condolences. I found your blog by accident and enjoy reading it very much.
I had a difficult time for many years feeling there was no light at end of the tunnel. Took some time but after many years I was in the right direction.
Looking at your picture brings me back many years. Regards, Laura Steinberger
Hi Laura, how good to hear from you after all these years! I’m happy to know that your life it on the upswing. I wish you only the best and the happiest blessings life can bring. Sending warmest thoughts your way, Cathy